09 December 2005

Feed Bag

Two-point-five items we'll just lead you to the water of today. Seeing as Standing Eight is a Utilitarian website, the choice to drink (or not,) is yours.

1) News From the Non-Integrating Gap (Know what that is?)
DATELINE IRAN -- Attention Holocaust Deniers: Iran's new whackjob president is one of you. That must make you feel good inside. See It Now. Technically most of what's quoted in this article would fall in Bradlee's "non-denial denial" category, but Standing Eight doesn't get caught in wringers about semantic hairsplitting when it comes to the Final Solution.

Also on the Iran front, (no prophecy intended,) turns out most (78) of the people who died in that plane crash a couple days ago were journalists, either going to or coming from some sort of military action/training/show. Nothing at all fishy about that. See It Now.

2) News from the Functioning Core (ID these references for a free steak dinner.)
DATELINE THE OTHER KANSAS CITY-- A kid at an "alternative high school" (read, "school for the 'bad kids'," if Kansas is anything like Texas,) was over-disciplined for the high crime of speaking Spanish... in the hall... between classes. His two word response, ("No problema,") to a friend's query, "Me prestas un dolar?" ['Will you lend me a dollar?'] apparently in Kansas City KS translates to a one-and-a-half day suspension. See It Now.

(Disclaimers: Yes, we realize that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not a whackjob, and that we'd probably be better off if he was. We further realize that a two day break from a Kansas alternative high school is something to be prayed for rather than feared. Does that invalidate the points we wish to emphasize here? We respectfully think not.)

And lest you start to think it's all bad news, from our Spoonful Of Sugar Department, here's a pretty picture of a rainbow. (Photo Credit: Standing Eight Count)

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