05 December 2005

George Washington made War on Christmas

We were frankly confused by all this hubbub about a war on Christmas, and amused by the Big Giant Head's assertion that the ACLU is anti-Christmas, (since they are after all there to protect our liberties, and what could be a more American exercise of liberty than Christmas?) But this article, (See It Now) or rather it's headline, "Ads Portray Nominee as Defender of Christmas" snapped it all into perspective. The "War on Christmas" is a subplot meant to preemptively frame the debate about Alito on issues where Alito's view is more "mainstream." Preempting and debate-framing of course are the only two rhetorical tools in the Bush shed, so it's perfect. Let's not talk about whether Mary would have had to inform Joseph (or God,) before attempting to abort the immaculate conception, let's talk about the manger scene on the City Hall lawn. Ignore the judge trying to turn the American Worker into Bob Cratchett, and concentrate on the long-awaited goose that symbolizes equally the never-arriving telos of the free market and Old Scrooge's deus ex machina change of heart.
And lest the administration catch wind of the goings on here at Standing Eight and call us commies, or libero-fascists, or purple people eaters, please let it be known that Standing Eight would like forevermore to be "portrayed as defenders of baseball, apple pie, and capitalism." But not George Will, Martha Stewart, or Leo Strauss.
Vanity Fair's Walcott has an interesting alternate take on the War on Christmas (we always call him VF's Walcott b/c it's an easy and cheap way of associating him with vanity, which we feel is appropriate. See It Now.)

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