No lengthy appeals process for the likes of Saddam Hussein, his one and only appeal court said he must die within thirty days:

See It Now

Two points: 1) What else will be happening 30 days from now? Uh, the SOTU, during which Bush will be trying to justify the Surge in troop levels that he thinks was indicated by November's election and the Baker Hamilton report. How unbelievably convenient.

2) Saddam's sentence here was only one of many that were supposed to follow. This was the easiest case for prosecutors to make, but the scope of the inhumanity here was comparatively small, "covering one case involving the execution of 148 men and boys in the northern town of Dujail in 1982," according to the above linked article in the NYT.

My question is two fold: Will we still try Saddam for the alleged hundreds of thousands of other murders he's responsible for, or will we let those slide, seeing as he's going to be unable to participate vigorously in his own defense, what with the being dead and all?

And the second fold of my question is this: even under the absolute best interpretation of our prosecution of this war in Iraq, we have been responsible for well more than 200 deaths of innocents, women and children and men. It's frankly impossible to believe that it's less than a few thousand. So the question is, when does Mr. Bush's capital trial start, and which version of the appeals process will he be availed of, the one he found so needlessly lengthy and overcautious in Texas, or the one he seems to approve of in Iraq.

Not a fairy tale, but grim.

US casualties in Iraq now greater than those incurred on 9-11. If you'd asked Bush or Cheney or Rumsfeld in March '03, they'd have said we'd never get that high, and you were a traitor for suggesting it. And the really sick part is that they probably believed that.

See It Now

And now the guessing game is: on what day and hour will Tony Snow or Bush himself deny that this is a "milestone"? Because that's what they always do when we hit a milestone. Deny deny deny. The denied it at 1,000, at 1,500, at 2,000 and they'll deny it early next year at 3,000.

If you're not disgusted, you're not paying attention. Could you please teach us how to do that?

Draft on Tap?

NYT on the recent "surge" of draft rumors: See It Now

Okay, set aside the actual issue of a potential draft for a moment. We all thought it was coming right after the '04 election and it didn't, but that won't stop many of us from worrying that it's coming any minute now, and Bush's denials are impossible to lend any credence to, mainly because they are issuing from the mouth of one GW Bush, a mouth known to lie about 10 times for every truth it utters.

Here's a laughable yet frightening quote from the article; note the transition between the two paragraphs:

William A. Chatfield, director of the Selective Service, said Friday that “we try to send out a signal of strength that we’re prepared.” The Selective Service, he said, needs to be ready “if something totally unforeseen should come upon us.”

But for now, the chances of that happening are “very, very, very low,” Mr. Chatfield said. “There’s nothing even being discussed in a remote fashion, but you have people trying to create fear when there’s nothing there.”

Did you get that? The chances of "something totally unforeseen," happening are "very, very, very low." I'll repeat: The chances of "something totally unforeseen," happening are "very, very, very low." Aren't they always? Does this give you any confidence in the selective service apparatus at all? Because it scares the yule log right out of me.

Am I alone in seeing this as possibly the stupidest piece of "reasoning" ever to emanate from any Bush official? And, BTW, to hear BushCo tell it, wasn't the whole protracted insugency/useless quagmire/lack of WMD thing "totally unforeseen"? And isn't this the same brain trust among whom: "No one could have imagined them taking a plane, slamming it into the Pentagon... into the World Trade Center, using planes as a missile." The unforeseen seems to be par for the putt-putt course with these guys.

Conversely, the chance of Christmas coming on Monday remains high, as long as you're not one of the 10 or 15 American "volunteers" who will die in Iraq or Afghanistan before then. And if you are one of them or one of their comrades, Standing Eight loves you and thanks you and wants you brought home, alive, victorious or not, as soon as possible.

Inside the Redactors Studio

The NYT got a hold of one of the CIA's black highlighters:

See It Now

Half the redactions are pretty guessable, if you know the style of the NYT op-ed page. There's one paragraph that's blacked out entirely, others are just names or one-liners. I have my guesses but I don't want any MIBs or NSAs showing up ruining my Festivus.

Stay Tuned for The Eight's new look coming in 07.

Bush now officially 'worse than nothing'

The old Tony Snow/ Bush apologist trope about "hey, our guy's numbers are low, but congress' are even worse" is no longer true. The incoming congress, a body which has done precisely zero, is more trusted than the president:

See It Now

This either proves that Bush is a la-hame duck, or that the American people will buy anythingfor a while. We think probably both.

Getting Blogged Down

Some dude is running an experiment to see how fast news travels.

Read this then link to it if you are a blogger yourself:
Acephalous: Measuring The Speed of Meme: An Experiment in which You Will Participate, Or Else...

(The fatal flaw of this experiment may be that the link above is not actually 'news' so we're really measuring how fast 'experiment' travels. My suspicion is that the old adage is correct, in that 'bad news travels fast'est, followed by good news, followed by value-neutral junk like this. But we're game. The 'scientist' in question assures us his idea is not a chain letter, and since he's not a known republican we believe him. (joke.))

From the "You can't parody a parody" department:

Residents of a Colorado "homeowners association" (read: homogeneity association,) demand removal of a peace sign Christmas wreath:

Las Vegas SUN: Colo. Residents Spar Over Peace Sign

Here's the lede and best graf, noting that there are two primary complaints about the horrifying symbol, both of which are just the pinnacle of head-up-assery:

A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

It reminds us of the seminal scene in the King of the Hill Christmas episode. Hank and his father Cotton were shopping for Xmas decor, and Hank showed his dad an ornament that said, "Peace on Earth." Cotton, a Korean war vet, was disgusted by this lefty sentiment, and Hank's response still echoes in my ears: "C'mon dad, it's Jesus peace, not hippie peace."

It would appear that the criminal wreath hanger would agree with Hank:

Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

And we agree with her. Peace.

And so it begins:

Romney trashes McCain, and the '08 race is officially underway:

Romney: ‘I’m a conservative Republican’ - Examiner.com

Here's hoping they destroy each other on the way to the nomination, but it's not likely to happen.

Education Secretary, on Jeopardy, Loses to 'Lenny' but not squiggy.

No snark necessary. This post writes itself:

See It Now

In fairness to Sec. Spellings, Mike McKean is pretty smart. In fairness to Mike McKean, he'd make a thousand times better education secretary than Margaret Spellings.

From the "No excuse left behind," department:

"I think I held my own," Spellings said in an interview Tuesday, hours before the show aired. She noted McKean had an edge, having been on the show before.

Suskind on Oversight

The chronicler of the 1% doctrine tells the new congress how to use their new found authority, and we like how he thinks:

Send in the Subpoenas - washingtonpost.com

Or just read Kevin's 1 paragraph summary: See It Now

The Floyd Void

Maybe Floyd Landis did win the Tour after all:

Landis lab made 'administrative error' - Yahoo! News

Then again maybe not.

RIP Adrienne Shelly

It's not exactly our beat, but she was an incredible actress, and one of Hal Hartley's faves, and since he's our fave, we note with great sadness the passing of someone whose talent outweighed her celebrity:

Adrienne Shelly Murdered in Faked Suicide - OhmyNews International

The truth will out. As soon as the elections are over.

It's not our bailiwick but here's the latest on Pat Tillman's death:

AP: Startling findings in Tillman probe - Yahoo! News

It's almost impossible to believe that one of the soldiers who was (unfortunately,) responsible was named, get this, "Ashpole."

Makes me wish more people paid attention to this story so that that name could become an insult the way "Santorum" has.

And keep in mind that Spc. Ashpole is not the bad guy here. Friendly fire happens. The bad guys are the higher-ups who should leave the military fiction writing to Jim Webb and the cover-ups to Nixon, (Clinton Cheney Hastert Rove etc.)

On Frist Corker and Ford

Republican Hangs On to Frist’s Senate Seat - New York Times

Full disclosure: The Eight gave to McCaskill and Ford in very small amounts this cycle, and does not regret the choice. In both cases, the ad that drew national attention was a big part of the impetus for our donations (the Mike Fox ad in MO and subsequent Limbaugh fiasco, and the Racist anti-ford ad in TN.)

Dems and talking heads are saying that Ford ran a good campaign and his future is bright and he stayed above the fray of racist and family-oriented attacks, and they're right about all that. But look at it another way: Assume that Burns pulls it out in Montana, (actually we clearly hope he won't. Burns is the worst kind of GOP bum. But just assume for these purposes.) And that Webb holds on in VA. If that's how it shakes out, then the racist ad that Corker's backers aired, and we've all seen no matter how far away we live from TN or how vigilantly we TiVo'd through all political ads, that one nasty, racist ad may be the very thing that keeps the GOP senate. You certainly can't point to a bigger single action that held a GOP seat. And you can't deny that that ad was instrumental in the Corker win.


And that is the Southern Strategy all over again. It's playing the race card. And that's really the last card left in the GOP deck when the game gets close, which is a betrayal of their stated party principles and of what most republican citizens believe. It's why I always tell my Texan friends and family I don't hate republicans, just republican politicians.


But on the whole I think this election painted a picture of an America I can be reasonably proud of, and not just because Dems won big. Mainly because it showed that there is a point where we get fed up with bad leadership. (I'd have preferred we reached that point 2 years ago, but that's just me.) It also showed that we as a nation love our game more than we love or hate the players. That checks and balances and oversight and accountability are just as important as "strong" "charismatic" "leaders".

Clearly I need to watch my TiVo'd Gilmore Girls and go to bed. Go Tester Go Webb. Watch Friday Night Lights next week and tell your friends to watch too, especially your Nielsen family friends.

---LATE AND LAST UPDATE: With 99% reporting in Montana Tester is ahead a couple thousand. This is very good news, though nothing is sealed until 10 days after the check clears. I can sleep soundly now. ---

Off Topic, but important:

Okay, this is just about the craziest thing I have ever seen:

Hussein Asks Iraqi Factions to Reconcile - washingtonpost.com

Let's see if Bush can be as conciliatory and magnanimous at his presser later today. Granted there's no noose hanging over his head, but he may feel as though there is.

Back on topic, things to keep in mind this week: Rove is actually more of a genius when it comes to recounting and litigating close elections (read, better at election theft,) than he is at winning outright. So look for him to pull every last rabbit out of every last hat in the 6-10 House races and 2 Senate races that look contestable. And how much of the whiny baby party can they afford to look like trying to contest 10 house elections while they're also trying to win a war. I'd be tempted to say it's shameful, if I thought that shame was an extant emotion in DC.

And please note that they berated Kerry and Gore for belaboring these drawn out counts, and now they are going to do the exact same thing. Hypocrisy. And you can bet that they will complain about the election machinery too, even though any flaws in the process are their fault, and even though they belittled Dems for complaining about the same things in past elections. Double hypocrisy. See TPM probably all week long for more on this.

If Elections last more than 36 hours consult your doctor.

HA!

We agree with Joshie up and down the line on this:
Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall November 8, 2006 12:24 AM

Take five minutes to enjoy tonite's victory and then get your asses back to work tomorrow. Nothing was made easier today. If anything, the next two years will be quite tough for Dems. But it's a challenge we should relish.

Hilary Clinton said in her victory adress: "Democracy is alive and well." I will give her alive, and that's to be commended. But I am not ready to concede the well. Now that we have the gavel, let's get to oversighting on this bi-otch.

And meditate on victories for Webb and Tester and McCaskill as you sleep and as you arise tomorrow. Every little bit helps.

God Bless America. LATE UPDATE-- And while we're at it, God Bless Iraq. They need it more than we do.

Go Tester Go Webb Go to Bed.

Palast Predicts

We hope he's wrong, but he's usually right, so read this at your own internal peril.

HOW THEY STOLE THE MID-TERM ELECTION Greg Palast

Make sure you get to the end, because he finishes strong.

Suggested Onion Headline for Wednesday if things tomorrow go poorly: "Democrats Retain Grip on Powerlessness."

Two ways the Repubs have already won this year, results be damned: How much have you heard about the environment this cycle? How much have you heard about making our elections fair before this week? If your answers to the above were "Shockingly little on both counts," then congratulate your right wing friends, because they have bested you.

US Presidential Speeches Tag Cloud - Chirag Mehta : chir.ag

This is great. If you don't know what a tag cloud is there's a primer at the top of the page. And while this loads to Bush, there's a slider at the top of the page that takes the concept all the way back to Washington.

US Presidential Speeches Tag Cloud - Chirag Mehta : chir.ag

Can you guess what two words are Bush's most used? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

Cuh-Lassic!!

This is one of those things that would be absolutely hilarious if the fate of our nation didn't hang in the balance:

The Raw Story | Video: Congressman takes incriminating documents away from reporter

Even with that, it's still quite amusing. Plus the guy (Tim Murphy, R-PA,) made such a bonehead move that this local news toss off went national with 4 days to go. He could have simply no commented and no one would ever have heard about it.

To steal a quote from the (slightly,) better President Bush, It's the idiocy, Stupid.

Not as tasty as push pops

It's about time that the push polls from Common Sense [name of state] that TPM and co have been pointing to for a week got some attention in a real paper:

Last-Minute Push Polls Send Some Voters Over the Edge -

Note that even though this article is about only GOP push polling, the party is not identified in the headline, so headline-only readers will assume it's one more thing that, "both sides do equally." This is simply not true. Dems are not above dirty tricks, but they by and large do adhere to certain principles, and while there are any number of distasteful Dem ads out there now, I defy anyone to show me a Dem push-poll or phone jam or voter intimidation effort or any other illegal electioneering. This is the choice we face on Tuesday. It's not about Bush and it's definitely not about Kerry. It's about listening to the better angels of our nature and choosing checks and balances; or continuing to obey our worst instincts and ordering up two more years of one-party rule. I've already voted and you can probably guess how, but I still have no prediction, aside from a familiar tightness in my gut, as to what the country will decide on Tuesday. I try to soothe my trepidation with Josh Marshall's new mantra: "Feel the wave. Be the wave." I'll let the WaPo have the last word:

"People who know won't be fooled," [Sate Sen. Lawlah] said. "It's the people who don't keep up with politics they are trying to reach."

If that's you then read the article at the link above.

Next Tuesday in a nutshell

See It Now

War is hell

If you're on the ground. Too bad Bush Cheney and Rumsfeld never had the pleasure.

Revealed: U.S. Soldier Killed Herself After Objecting to Interrogation Techniques

Who supports those troops?

Best ad of the season:

I don't know why the Dems are afraid to run stuff like this for real. I am getting afraid that we're going to blow it again, by letting the GOP dictate the terms of the last week and of election day. If there was ever a time for Dems to be on offense, this is certainly it. A little bloodlust might not even be a bad thing. But if we sit on our asses and try to coast to victory, it'll be a long dark Tuesday night 8 days from now. I for one don't want to feel that feeling I had on E-day '04, where everything was good until it slipped away, like one of those kid's toys that you can't keep in your hand.

Daily Kos: Congressman, call me!

BTW: You can absolutely expect at least one bomb from Rove on Wed-Fri. The sort of thing like his bugging his own office back in Texas to blame and sink his opponent. It will be big, ballsy, and just to late in the game to get verified by the 7th. Think Terror in Omaha, Bush makes a surprise visit somewhere, a Democratic Memo about a state visit for Osama, Cheney on death's door asking for prayers for his recovery and votes for his cronies, declaring victory in Iraq, something along those lines. And you can rest assured that whatever it is will be utter crap, and also rest assured that it will work. Keep your eyes peeled.

Incredible

Literally, as in, this story is hard to give any credibility to:

See It Now

Police in riot gear stormed a middle school and threw students up against the wall, as a drill. Lawsuit time in Michigan.

Generals want oversight of executive power

When you have to turn to the men in uniform to be the ones warning against abuse of military power, things have reached a pretty sorry state in the republic:

U.S. generals call for Democratic takeover | Salon News

Note that the comment above should not be read as a slight against the military, it's not. It's just that the standard order of things is for the military to be champing at the bit to go into action and the civilian command structure restraining them, and when that is flipped upside down, Mr. Secretary Rumsfeld, then you are counting on the uniforms to be your last line of restraint as well as your last line of defense, and that's a terrible position to put anyone in. It's akin to asking Bernard Hopkins to be the referee and the fight doctor at his own next bout.

It's Our 200th Post!!!

This is our 200th post (doo-dah, doo-dah,)
Less than some blogs, more than most (oh, doo-dah day)

Bush and Cheney suck,
But we're out of luck.
'Cause they're gonna be here for two more years,
Man, we're really [MEMORY HOLE]

(And by the way our 1 year anniversary is this Saturday, so it's 200 in just under a year. We accept your congratulations in advance.)

The Nexus of Politics and YouTube

This is quite amusing, even if you don't understand the intricacies of British politics, which I don't:

Joe Strummer Spins In His Grave - Wonkette

Newsflash: Democracy in Trouble!!!

Ken Blackwell, the guy who kept lots of democrats from voting in Ohio in '04, now may keep everyone from voting in Ohio in '06, and declare himself the winner of the gubernatorial election:

And the Winner Is ... Me - New York Times

Well, he's definitely a goober.

Republican corruption is just 21 isolated incidents

And that's lumping all the "little abramoffs" (Burns, Doolittle, Shelby, Reed, etc.) into one incident. This list is literally mind-boggling. My mind is at this moment boggled. I think.

The Crook List - Wonkette

And on the blue side: Harry Reid failed to report that he did pay taxes on a land deal. Maybe.

Cross the Kubler-Ross and burn your bridges behind you

It's not often that a reader of TPM is both accurate and funny, usually they're one or the other:

Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall October 17, 2006 09:45 AM

AP late to the party

So the AP finally "reported" what Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, and the rest of the reality-based community have been observing for years:

Bush keeps revising war justification - Yahoo! News

Trendsetters say that by the time a hip new trend is mentioned in the New York Times, the trend is already dead among the original trendsetters. I feel that way about this news and the AP. Next they'll tell us that the internet is changing the way the newsmedia works, then they'll break the big 'Man Walks on Moon' story, then they'll have an exclusive on the invention of movable type. In other words, you're way way behind the curve AP. It's called "news" for a reason.

AWOL around his heart

Sorry for the pun, but this:

A Soldier Hoped to Do Good, but Was Changed by War - New York Times

Is a wonderful piece from the Times about one soldier's story that must be just as true for a significant percentage of his comrades. And while it will make you sad and angry at Bush and Cheney, it will make you proud that we have young men of conscience over there doing Cheney's dirty work. Or at least we did have, before they all felt compelled to go AWOL and the Army lowered it's recruiting standards to include criminals and the mentally ill.

It's hard for me, stateside, to believe that any soldier should have to be told, "I said to him, you're not crazy or a heretic for having difficulty reconciling Jesus' teachings with what's going on in Iraq." But even after hearing it repeatedly, it was hard for this soldier (the subject of the article,) to accept. And by the way, he had to go outside the Army to hear that. His army chaplain "showed him in the Bible where God sent his people to war." Then an army shrink "said he could get out of the military by claiming he was crazy or gay."

Before Bush/Cheney, vets and the military used to admit, "war is hell." On their watch that little slogan seems to have been replaced by "War is a hell of a good investment."

Psycho Analyzed

For historians and psychologists to evaluate Bush based on 6 years of public presidential statements is akin to Michael Phelps swimming laps in the kiddie pool, but nonetheless, some interesting observations here:

Bush Confounded by the 'Unacceptable' - washingtonpost.com

The telling detail:

In the first nine months of this year, Bush declared more than twice as many events or outcomes "unacceptable" or "not acceptable" as he did in all of 2005, and nearly four times as many as he did in 2004. He is, in fact, at a presidential career high in denouncing events he considers intolerable. They number 37 so far this year, as opposed to five in 2003, 18 in 2002 and 14 in 2001.

Yikes Alert

W hasn't said anything this dumb since he asked "is our children learning?"

Political Wire: Poker Face

By the way, not that we're poker experts, but when, "there's more people playing your same cards," the best result is a split pot, which eats into your profits considerably. And for all the things Bush doesn't know, he definitely knows about profits. At least the concept of profit, since while none of his own businesses was too profitable, he has certainly helped Haliburton, Lockheed and Chevron on that score.

Brace Yourself, Republicans may have tried dirty tricks

If this mailing doesn't sink the Duckworth campaign, the NRCC is planning to send all the voters in that district an envelope full of white powder with Duckworth's return address on it.

IL-06: NRCC Mailer Against Duckworth Simulates Official Social Security Mailing | TPMCafe

In other shocking political news: George Bush isn't too bright, Democrats are wimps, and the Iraq thing isn't going very well. I know, we couldn't believe it either.

Paging Doctor Irony, Doctor Sickening Irony to the ER, STAT.

On his best day O. Henry could never have come up with this story. Granted, he would never have tried.

See It Now

(If you're having trouble spotting the irony to which we refer, we suggest you check wikipedia for the name "Mengele," it's in there near "mangle." You'll find it. And keep a bucket nearby, just in case.)

Bush screws up, and this time it's important:

N. Korea Claims Nuclear Test - washingtonpost.com:

Make no mistake, the developments in North Korea that will eat up most of our news cycles this week and push Foley and probably Iraq off the front pages are the direct result of Bush Administration failures:

"The Bush administration rebuffed North Korea's calls for bilateral talks to solve the crisis, instead pushing for an international framework that forced the North to the bargaining table with the United States, but also China, Japan, Russia and South Korea.

Monday's test, analysts said, provided unmistakable evidence that the six-party framework had failed, leaving Washington and its partners in the region now facing the profoundly more difficult task of disarming a state that has already fulfilled its nuclear ambitions. No nation that has successfully conducted a nuclear test has ever been persuaded to give up the weapons through diplomacy, sanctions or other means."

So when you hear wingnut talking heads saying that this is good for the 'daddy party' as far as November, know that those people are lying to you. Don't be taken in. If anything this should add to the perfect storm that Repubs are currently facing. Tell your friends. And keep talking about Iraq and Foley. A dem takeback, however unlikely, is our best hope to get the country back on track, and being on track is our best and maybe only way to get to the future.

Best News Yet

For dems in congress:

Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall October 7, 2006 09:04 AM

Now that you've got'em on the run, DCCC, don't let up. Fight the heck back. This "sit back and watch them destroy themselves," strategy has played itself out and it is time for you, Dean, Emmanuel and Pelosi, to get in the game.

(Dean, Emmanuel and Pelosi sounds like a bad personal injury lawfirm that advertises on Saturday afternoon TV and they appear in their own commercials leaning on the desk holding a law book. Probably upside down.)

Poll Positioning, (or Poll Dancing)

Another day, another reason for democrats to get their hopes irrationally high:

Political Wire: Democrats Could Take Senate

Standing Eight still does not believe, even with all that's gone down this week, that Dems will take back either house, but we are shorting our odds once again. The prospect of a one-house takeback, which only a month ago we marked as a 3 to 1 underdog, is sliding up toward even money, we'd call it a safe 3 to 2 dog as of this morning. One more implosion in the GOP could push it to even money. But more likely than an implosion is whatever October Surprise Rove has in his (quite well padded) back pocket. (We're thinking Osama turns up mid-month, or Bush and/or Cheney survives some sort of trumped up health scare or threat just before Halloween, but there are probably more subtle ways for baldy to git'r'done. Not that subtlety is Rove's strong suit.)

And even at even money (ha,) one thing we have to remember is that Dems think the only way to gain seats is to win the elections, while GOPers know that there's a second way: stealing the elections. This gives the edge in any coin toss to the GOP. And plenty of these races will be coin tosses.

Specific predictions: Ford in TN and Whitehouse in RI will win their contests, and McCaskill certainly could, but the NRCC recently spent alot of Mark Foley's dirty dirty money and a lot more than that on a negative advertising blitz against her. Anyone who still questions whether such a blitz could work should ask my friend Max Cleland. So call Claire a toss up for the moment, and Webb still needs help, which does not speak well of his campaign, given all the help Allen's already given him.

Our prescription for Dems: (not that we're a doctor, and not that anyone's listening to us,) Keep talking about Iraq. Never shut up about it, even when the electorate tries to tell you it's 'fatigued' of hearing about it, which will happen if you talk about it enough, at which point the proper strategy would be to continue talking about it. Tell the electorate that no matter how fatigued they get they are not as fatigued as the Army and Marines in the field, and there's only one thing they (the voters,) can do about it: VOTE.

Pacers Petition League for Name Change

To "Pistols" or "Popguns" or "PPKs"

Pacers' Jackson Fires Gun at Strip Club - New York Times

If I were a Detroit Piston this article would scare the crap out of me. I'd for darn sure bring a police escort the next time I entered Conseco Field House.

RIP R.W.

Standing Eight notes with sadness the passing of one of the last great reporters, NYT's R.W. Apple.

And it's not just because he was a huge part of "The Boys on the Bus," the greatest political book ever; and not just because he resolutely maintained that reporters should 'remain amateurs,' representing their readers, rather than pretending to be experts, lecturing the people they cover, (an outlook that is sorely missed in today's shouting-match pundit punchbowl.)

It's also because he managed to attain before his death the one thing all writers want. He was mentioned in passing on The Gilmore Girls last season. Or the season before. Rory was in college, I remember that.

Okay, it's mostly the remaining amateur thing. Like many people I am by turns fascinated by and then repulsed by our national politics, and even when my interest was at it's lowest, (like all of last summer, and recently since pedophilia became more important than war,) R.W. was interesting, inspiring, and irreplaceable. Here's his Times obit:

R. W. Apple Jr., Globe-Trotter for The Times and a Journalist in Full, Dies at 71 - New York Times

If they don't have a good newspaper in heaven, they will soon.

OutFoxed

Check this out:

Fox, in a move I am sure they will say was 'inadvertent,' just happened, by sheer chance, to mislabel the recently outed pedophile as a member of the wrong party.

This misidentification was onscreen for no less than 45 seconds in 3 chunks, most of which during the (unexplainably high-rated,) o'reilly factor. (We can't bring ourselves to capitalize his name or program title. Sorry grammar geeks.)

I am shocked, shocked to find that there is propaganda going on in this establishment.

Of course, the network mislabels itself as 'news' 24/7, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

(Thanks to bradblog for the screengrab.)

Osama Bin There Done That

Gosh it seems like we've heard this before:

Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall September 23, 2006 06:58 AM

But even though we've heard it before, remember, you heard it here first. Unless you didn't.

And if it's true this time, it's one less October Surprise in Rove's bag, and there's no way Bush can claim letting him die of natural causes as a victory. Right? He asked, hoping his optimism would not get the better of him on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November?

And, from our non-sequitur silver-lining department: Perhaps it will inspre the American Ryder Cup Team, who need all the help they can get, and whom we are leaving the keyboard to watch right now, in a vain attempt to put all this international political intrigue aside for just a few hours.

First Amendment RIP

Okay, had anyone asked Standing Eight back in 04-05, we'd have said that the right thing for Judy Miller to do would be to give up what Fitzy wanted her to give, because a) the fabric of our republic was at issue, and b) her sources had given her information which, while 'fit to print' also turned out to be false, as in lies.

Still, she gets a few points in our book for sticking by her guns, and now, with the '04 election not-all-that-safely behind us (and BushCo,) we know what she knew, or thought she knew, at the time she thought she knew it.

But this: Silence means prison, Judge tells reporters, is not that. There is no excuse at all for these reporters to be in prison. It is patently ridiculous that a judge or prosecutor even asked them to reveal their sources. This is baseball. Are we going to send Martha Stewart (back,) to prison for failure to reveal her apple pie recipe? Betsy Ross exhumed at displayed in the town square on a pike for not giving up her pattern for the American Flag?

We would go on, but we seem to be sliding rather precipitously down some sort of slope. Gosh we hadn't even noticed it was there.

Bad news, and bad business for the news business.

Vote or Die(bold)

This was sent to us by alert and loyal reader Dan Mullin, who may be the only alert and loyal reader we have. We don't get a great many reader requests/suggestions, in fact you could count them on a bad shop teacher's bad hand. So forthwith:
Hotel Minibar Keys Open Diebold Voting Machines

And from the inestimable and esteemed Dr./Mr. Mullin:

"The more I hear about electronic voting the less I am impressed. Technology for technology's sake in my opinion. The belief that digitization is the solution to every problem is poorly thought out. [ed.: In fact beliefs are rarely "thought out" at all, poorly or no, which is the problem with belief. qv Sam Harris] The 2000, 2002, and 2004 elections expanded the market for electronic voting machines when it should have expanded the market for valid and reliable voting procedures. The former does not necessarily have anything to do with the latter in my opinion."

He's right. Voting rights as an umbrella issue is going to be extremely important in this country over the (say 15 year,) short haul, and of supreme importance worldwide this century. It's a complex issue, one that merits having whole blogs/papers/hours of TV coverage devoted to it, and if the 2000 election didn't prove that to the media powers that be, it's hard to imagine what would.

The sad fact is that at some point voting is going to have to be digital in order to be relevant at all (see Starship Troopers, Earth by David Brin and Zardoz, among others for good takes on the future of techno-democracy,) and that right now is not that point.

However, as a caution against thinking that Diebold is the golden goose of fixing democracy, our little bit of high-powered political experience indicates that 90% of elections are stolen well before election day, and that tinkering with the voting technology itself would be a last ditch effort.

And there is some dirty validity to offering the nation the choice of a party that tries hard to follow the rules and a party that plays every angle, propagandizes every issue, and shows a willingness to cheat to win. Or perhaps we've just been watching too much "Lost" on DVD this week.

Follow-up on the fixed trial:

Last week we brought you this tidbit on Saddam's trial, and apparently the "prime minister of Iraq" (read: The American marionetter who pulls the PM's strings,) reads Standing Eight, because check this out:

Chief Judge in Hussein's Genocide Trial Removed - New York Times

And where would he have learned about it if not here?

You know, I heard that GWB also said Saddam wasn't a dictator, maybe our Prime Minister could remove Bush from his post. Now we just need a Prime Minister. I think Tony Blair has some free time coming up.

Danger, Danger Josh Marshall:

When you're reading (or more likely, watching/hearing,) about "common article three" over the next few days, keep this in mind:

Talking Points Memo: by Joshua Micah Marshall September 14, 2006 03:12 PM

Of course, you'll also have to keep in mind that Josh's point here, while excellent, is nuanced, which means a) dems will pay the price if they try to make it, and b) the current commander in chief will 'pretend' not to understand such subtle logic if confronted with it, and many people will believe his 'pretending.'

This is the country after all where Fox just dropped a major movie (if you call Mike Judge writing and Luke Wilson starring 'major,' which I do,) about a future-America full of stupid people, because a few test audiences were too stupid to get the joke. (See "Idiocracy" on google or wikipedia for more info.) God, I want to see that so bad.

And, to all you stupid people, don't start writing in complaining to me. As if you could. The First Amendment guarantees nothing so much as our freedom to be ignorant. I, for example, am as free to be ignorant of O'Reilly, Hannity and Limbaugh as you are free to be ignorant of grammar, logic and the 90% of the planet that isn't America. And we're both 'free to be you and me.' Within reason.

Newspapers making a comeback?

After weeks with the two big papes doing little of note, each has an important article today. As usual, BushCo have managed to get these unflattering stories buried in Saturday's paper, which no one reads. (Anytime Bush gives a Friday press conference, you can be sure he's going to say some extra-crazy shit, and today was no exception:)

GOP Infighting on Detainees Intensifies - washingtonpost.com

And from the NyTi.

You may have noticed our first 'profanity' above, and we can only say that it's about damn time.

It's a real trial tryin' to fix this trial.

First one of Saddam's Judges resigned, now the new guy seems to be his biggest fan, or at least an apologist:

Judge Expresses View That Hussein Was Not a Dictator - New York Times

Ah, well...the show-trial must go on.

You got sports in my politics!

No, you got politics in my sports!

Claire McCaskill, brilliant (and southern,) enough to be our first female president:

Political Wire: In Missouri, a Touchdown for McCaskill

E. J. sees the Dems as 'half-full...'

And not 'of themselves':

E. J. Dionne Jr. - Democrats Answer Cheney - washingtonpost.com

Frankly, he's trying to put lipstick on a donkey and tell you it's a pig, or something. And God bless him for trying to sell the idea that Dems are worth their weight in shinola, but we for one will believe it when they actually take back one house of congress, which should be happening sometime before 2018, but first we have to make it to 2018. Which, good luck.

Standing Eight oddsmakers still hold the notion of a 1-house Dem takeback as a 3 to 1 dog. We're pulling for Webb in VA, and Whatsisname in PA, but mainly b/c Santorum and Allen are so loathsome. If you think we're wrong, take our action. We will put our money where our e-mouth is. To a point. We'll even let you count Leiberman and Lamont as Dems.

Fighting them at our embassies over there

So you can continue to believe we are not fighting them here:

Blasts heard at foreign embassies in Syria - Yahoo! News

Hard to tell whether this will be big news tomorrow (Tuesday,) but aren't our foreign embassies, strictly speaking, really a part of "over here"? Am I being too cute?

And isn't the big news here that we even have an embassy in Syria? As evil as they're supposed to be, what with Bush accusing them of fronting Hezbollah and all, what's the point of an embassy there if not to be a tantalizing target?

Or perhaps that's just revealing our own stupidity. These and many more are the reasons we try to focus on domestic politics here at the Eight.

Republicans Revealed to be Hypocrites, Zero out of 6 Billion are Surprised

Turns out Clinton wanted to do a lot of the wiretapping things that Bush eventually did, but instead of "just doing it," he actually asked congress to help with the law, and the GOP congress, well, cock-blocked him, (one of many.)

AMERICAblog: Because a great nation deserves the truth

So a) Maybe if that congress hadn't been so anti-Clinton, 9-11 wouldn't have happened, and b) memo to George Bush: a Nike slogan does not make a good domestic policy. At least until Nike unveils their new "Uphold Your Constitution" campaign. (Which actually could work, since constitution can mean general health, and ostensibly Nikes are for working out, not just for wearing as status symbols.)

Thanks to Aravosis (americablog) for the great background.
And thanks to Orrin Hatch and crew for 9-11, we really appreciate your love for our country, dillweed.

Murrow Lite

KeithO doing his best and self-admittedly pale E.R. Murrow impression, Rummy standing in for Joe McC:

Crooks and Liars » Keith Olbermann Delivers One Hell Of a Commentary on Rumsfeld

At least someone's saying something.

Fashion Weak

Apparantly we're still free in this country to express our political beliefs on our clothes, but only after a big legal flap:

cbs13.com - Court Sides With Student In Bush T-Shirt Flap

At least that freedom applies at schools, good luck getting said 'offensive' shirt into a Bush rally.

Ted Stevens Pulls Ahead

In the 'worst senator' race:

TPMmuckraker August 30, 2006 03:56 PM

And you've gotta hand it to him, that's a seriously stiff competition.

Sen. Allen Steps (retroactively,) into even deeper macaca.

Not that the guy was ever going to be president anyway:

Political Wire: Allen's Racist Ties Exposed

But maybe this will hurt him enough in VA to give the seat to Webb. That would be a nearly unqualified good for the republic.

The Truth Hurts

Sudan Accuses Pulitzer Winner of Spying
...reads the headline. But then you learn that the guy worked for National Geographic. Not exactly a subversive publication.

Most likely more on this soon.

Politician Gets Subpoena, World Continues Spinning

Well, I suppose Markos put this up because it's good news for Harold Ford and persons hoping for a Dem takeover of the Senate. And good news it is, but let's not burst into gleeful rounds of 'happy days are here again' just yet please, Dems.

There's work to be done all over the rust belt and all over New England and all over the south in both house's races. Our prescription: keep the eyes on the prize and for Gaia's sake don't celebrate until the recounts are over; even then the celebrations should be limited because there will be much work to be done. (The 'prize' here being merely the right to exercise some oversight and restore some accountability, which should be enough to keep the ship of state from running aground.)

Daily Kos: TN-Sen: Corker (R) hit with subpoena

If anyone is keeping tabs, Standing Eight still officially believes that Dems will not take back either house, and that all reports to the contrary are either pie-eyed optimism or Republican efforts to take the wind out of Dem's fundraising sails. However, back in Oct. '05 we put the odds of a one-house takeback at 4 to 1 against, and we would cautiously upgrade that to 2 to 1 against now. Hardly the smart money, but less of a longshot.

SUPER FLASH ALERT BULLETIN!!!!! Cheney a Schmuck

Read all about it:

AlterNet: Blogs: PEEK: Cheney thinks economy sucks

At least we're all hypocrites together

Why, with polling results like this, do we still regard it as convnetional wisdom that terror in the papers helps W?

CNN.com - Poll: 1 in 4 Americans believe U.S. was safer before 9/11 - Aug 23, 2006

And how could any thinking person want to keep in power the guy for whom terrorism provides the biggest boon? It's so far beyond ludicrous that we need a new word.

So the lesson here seems to be don't be gay in Alabama

Consider it learned.

PageOneQ | Election of Alabama lesbian overturned by committee

Heroes never cut and run

But apparantly they do cut themselves into a picture of people running:

Rep. Schmidt's marathon ad questioned - Yahoo! News

This is the woman, let's remind everyone, who, from the house floor, called Marine vet John Murtha a coward, as per this transcript:

Yesterday I stood at Arlington National Cemetery attending the funeral of a young marine in my district. He believed in what we were doing is the right thing and had the courage to lay his life on the line to do it. A few minutes ago I received a call from Colonel Danny Bubp, Ohio Representative from the 88th district in the House of Representatives. He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do. Danny and the rest of America and the world want the assurance from this body - that we will see this through.

And of course as you probably know, Colonel Bupp never said any such thing, Schmidt faked that quote, just liked she faked some degrees on her resume, just like she is undobtedly faking her marathon claims.

Memory Hole Alert!

Sometimes I feel like a stand-up comedian in the Dan Quayle era, in that I don't really have to be a good writer, or have a writerly point when the Headline Says It All:

Evolution Major Vanishes From Approved Federal List - New York Times

And of course, just like at the hot clubs, if you're not on the list, you don't exist.

Score one for creationism.

NYT Hates America

How dare they publish factual information that calls the president's truthiness into question?

Poll Shows a Shift in Opinion on Iraq War - New York Times

Last I heard, Iraq was a central front in the war on terror.

No, I'm sorry, I typed that wrong. It should read: Last I heard, "Iraq" was a "central" "front" in the "war on terror"

Yeah, that feels right.

I'll take "Headlines that the right will intentionally misinterpret" for 400, Alex

"Obama to get HIV test"

Yeah, can't think of any way that could backfire.

Marion the non-librarian

Maybe I'm a pie-eyed optimist, or maybe I put top athletes up on an undeserved pedestal, or have some sort of adulatory blind spot, but I am starting to think that there's a urine testing lab somewhere with their equipment all out of whack, (or a lab employee with a destructive anti-American bias.) Landis, Marion Jones and Justin Gatlin can't really all be cheating at the same time with the same chemical and failing the same test, can they?

M. Jones Failed Drug Test in June

And really if those three are doing it, doesn't that all but entail that, as the saying goes, "everybody does it." And is it not then true that, as Stephen Colbert would say, "if everybody's doing it, then nobody's doing it."

Cease with the cease-fire

Israeli soldier killed in Lebanon raid - Yahoo! News

Speaks for itself

See It Now (TPM)

Freedom is Slavery

Well we know Bush won't be complying with this order, but he won't be able to claim he didn't hear it. (Cause of the wiretaps, get it?)

Judge Orders Halt to Warrantless Surveillance - AOL News

And he can rest reasonably sure that his made to order Supremes will overturn any, and especially this decision against him.

Guess who's back...Back again

Fitzy's back...tell a friend:

Cheney Lawyers Up

(The title and first line here are an Eminem homage/parody/ripoff, if you're over 40 and wondering why we did it that way.)

Must See WebTV

I saw this on Olbermann last night and it made me really wish that I was tech'd up enough to put it on the blog. Fortunatly for you, the good folks at Raw Story had the same idea, 'cause they're awesome.

Check this out and send it to all your friends. Especially the ones who still need convincing that W is a chump.

The Raw Story | Olbermann: 'The Nexus of politics and terror'

Bill Gates Blasts Bush

Sort of, and from out of the country in a foreign newspaper, we notice.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Gates criticizes HIV abstinence policies

But dig this great British lede: "Bill and Melinda Gates have come off the political fence and publicly backed key causes of Aids campaigners, criticizing the abstinence policies beloved of the US government and calling for more rights for women and help for sex workers."

'Beloved of the US gov't'? Does anything fit that description, it's not the most loving entity I've ever run across.

How Lamont Became the Al-Qaeda Candidate

Blasts kill 62 in Shiite area of Baghdad - Yahoo! News

But at least it didn't happen in the middle of a civil war.

See It Now

Which brings to mind the nausea-inducing question: Would you rather be a casualty in a civil war, or a victim of sectarian violence?

What if they threw a cease-fire and nobody ceased?

Basically that snarky title is the only reason we link to this:

Israel Accepts U.N. Deal

But seriously, what is a cease-fire called if both sides disregard it?

Eh, Wittgenstein?

NYT Helps Start Another War

I am always leery of any story about Iran being up to no good in Iraq/Lebanon/Kansas... wherever, because part of me gets worried that the war (sorry, that's not specific enough anymore, our war in Iraq,) is about to expand from a tenuous occupation to a really bad-scene broad regional thing.

But that's the reactive part of me. The thinking part of me, which I believe to be the greater part (by volume?) is frankly more scared of the notion that I am reading propaganda; that I am expected to read and be fearfully titilated by these stories, so that when Cheney wants to invade Iran (next week, month, day before election, doesn't matter,) it can happen with a minimum of public outcry/debate/notice.

So read this with a grain of salt, as the chief source is our man in Baghdad, (and former Unocal exec, keep in mind. All our front guys were at one point or another,) Zalmay Kalilzhad.

U.S. Ambassador Says Iran Is Inciting Attacks - New York Times

But then there's stuff like this, the kind of important reporting they did during the Pentagon Papers era, and recently w/r/t domestic surveillance.

Which begs the question (in that phrase's informal sense,) How many masters can the Times serve while remaining of any quality whatsoever? And do they not owe a greater debt to their reader-masters than their power-broker-masters, or rather hasn't Judy Miller given the Neocons enough free play, and couldn't we just slide back to being the good old gray lady?

Editorial Cartoon, heavy on the editing.

Playing Politics Over There

So we don't have to play it here: When your right-winger friends, and we know you've got a few, start blabbing brainlessly about how yesterday's terror bust is good for Bush/GOP, show them this:

Think Progress » 9/11 Commissioner: Terror Plot Shows Danger of Putting ‘All Our Intelligence and Military Resources in Iraq’

And then tell them that it's okay, we probably won't impeach him, just rake him over the 6 years worth of coals he's avoided until now.

The other shoe drops

In the General Assembly:

France's changes to draft rankle U.S. - Yahoo! News

Looks like it's back to freedom toast at the Capitol.

Thank someone for small miracles

Assuming these are the guys.

2 teens accused in theft of VA computer - Yahoo! News

DeLay'd reaction

Of all of tom DeLay's oversteps, one has finally been put right. And just in time to help the Dems take back the house, (in a parallel universe, maybe. We still put pretty long odds on that, Charlie Cook's pronouncements aside.)

Judges Redo Texas District, and Democrats May Gain - New York Times

So if you're wondering who to donate to in Texas house races, it's whoever's running against Henry Bonilla, (candidate not yet chosen. Ugh, the Dems on top of their business again. Idiots.)

Floyd fills the sample cup

Our journalistic nose thought maybe something was fishy about Landis' stage 17 win after his utter breakdown on stage 16. But we congratulated him on these pages, and while we wish him luck as he fights the suspension and probable loss of title, yet our readers deserve this link as well:

Landis May Lose Title Over Test Result

No excuses (for him or us,) but it's not hard to understand why he doped up that day (if he did.) He's facing hip replacement surgery, which no pro cyclist has ever come back from; this tour is less contested (via operacion puerto,) than any he's ever been in or likely to be in; and he'd lost like 8-and-a-half minutes to the lead the day before.

Interesting tidbit: On the last day of the tour the English broadcasters on OLN relayed the following story: On the night they'd finished stage 16, where Landis had bonked and lost boucoup de time, the team had a meeting and whatever happened at that meeting convinced Landis' teammate Axel Merckx to call his father Eddie Merckx, a 5 time tour winner and one of the greatest cyclists ever, and in this call Axel told father Eddie that Landis would be making a big stab to earn back some of the time the next day (stage 17, which Landis won by enough time to put him back in yellow or just off by a fraction of a minute.)

And Eddie found the story so compelling that he went to a betting house and made a 75 pound bet on Landis to win the stage and the tour overall.

In hindsight it seems unlikely that this was all due to an inspirational speech, and much more likely that Phonak team members knew Landis was going to cheat, and Axel passed that along to his dad.

So does Eddie still win the bet if they take away Landis' yellow jersey, or does he have to give the money back? And if Eddie and Axel were trading on inside dope, (as it were,) could they be on the hook for criminal prosecution?

Perhaps the story will develop over the next few months.

Also notable is the deafening silence from Lance Armstrong on Landis' win and subsequent travails, given that Landis was a teammate of Lance for a few years, and of course Lance's own history with doping allegations.

Blog Hoppin'

Calling all Eighters, check out our new blogject, Best O' The Web, a dumping ground for links we like, and if you contribute (links, not dough,) soon to be a dumping ground for (clean,) links that you like too! It's basically a way for us to keep linking to funny stuff and games and cool photos and films, and let Standing Eight stay true to its new slugline, by focusing more on politics and sports.

So come on, join the Standing Eight free-publishing empire. You know you want to.

A Pat of melted butter

Here's the headline:

Heat makes Pat Robertson a global warming "convert" - Yahoo! News

We did not make our intern read the story, but we suspect that Pat's solution to the global warming problem he (and his God,) just discovered is a few of these cool treats.

All kidding aside, this could be an important development toward getting some action on climate from our head-in-the-sand congress. Unless of course you believe this, from Grist Magazine and WaPo:

Speaking of which, House Majority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) said recently that if Republicans retain control of Congress in November's election, continued inaction on climate can be expected. Said Blunt, "I think the information is not adequate yet for us to do anything meaningful." Meaningless gestures, though -- we can expect a lot more of those.

Hard not to feel for ol' Roy, because deep down us libs have always known that signing on to Kyoto and/or regulating carbon emissions is such a cold, meaningless act. And that's not how republicans roll. Here's a suggestion for the GOP going into the '06 elections: "Compassionate Countdown to Apocalypse"

Our chief weapon is fear and surprise.

The fine folks at FAIR caught Tommy Boy Friedman in the act. I thought his line was starting to sound a little past its shelf date:

Tom Friedman's Flexible Deadlines

Given his paper's penchant for accuracy, I'd say he's only got about Six months left at the times.

A Link to a Laff

"The U.S. Air Force guide to spotting a terrorist"

I don't know what it is, but it's worth a thousand words.

Independent infographic (kottke.org)

Biting the hand that feeds you for 600, Alex.

Holy cow, super-smart guy turns ungrateful little simp:

TV News- jeopardy-champ-ken-jennings-blasts-show - AOL News

(That's if it's true. It does not seem like him, could be a fake.)

Mr. Trebek and Mr. Griffin: I promise if you let me on the show, I may not win 74 times, but I will never bad mouth you in public.

It's like the NBA

Complain to the referees loudly enough and eventually you get the call:

UN attack looks deliberate: Annan | Herald Sun

Specter of Hope

This (See It Now,) is undoubtedly good news for the "laws not men," crowd, but keep in mind that Specter's whole stock in trade is to get pissed off about something GWB did and make a bunch of libertarian noise, but to then sort of slink away, and a few weeks later we learn that "a compromise has been reached," which compromise basically maintains the King George status quo, (e.g. torture, domestic spying, CIA leak, etc.)

But maybe Ol' Arlen means it this time. How bad can a guy be if he's named for the hometown of Hank and Bobby Hill?

Onionskin

As per our new slugline, The Politics of Sport:

See It Now

(Can you believe this is what Viacom is in the process of buying? It's just a bunch of post-college kids goofing off in some office in Madison. Well, that and a perfect engine for separating the money-demo from their money.)

Floyd fills the void

American Floyd Landis is cruising to Le Tour victory on the streets of Paris even as we type, allowing commercials to store up in the TiVo. You may have heard that Landis has a degenerative right hip which is going to be replaced (just like an 85-year-old grandmother's,) after the Tour. You may also have heard that the two men who could almost certainly have beaten Landis, Team T Mobile's Jan Ullrich and Team CSC's Ivan Basso, were banned from the tour the night before it started, along with several others.

It's been a very exciting Tour to watch, at least half the stages have had edge-of-seat finishes, and in our offices more than one drink was spilled urging Landis up the Alps, but I have to confess I feel a little sorry for all the French and European fans who were so desperate to have a non-American win this year, after seven in the desert.

But just a little sorry. And I can console myself with this: See It Now

Am I getting older?

Or are they getting stupider?

I never thought the ACLU would lose me. I remember when they lost my dad for defending those Nazis in Skokie, but I thought that was a right call. Now they are apparently jumping into the Westboro Baptist mess, and not on the side of the good.

See It Now (WaPo)

And when I say they've lost me, I don't mean I as a dues paying member. I paid "dues" once in like '99 to get the card. I mean in my heart, they may have lost me. And I am sure it hurts me more than it hurts them.

Good news out of Iraq

By which we mean: "All good news is hereby banished from Iraq."

See It Now

And how does that story front the NYT while this one tops the WaPo? One of these things is not like the other.

And I think to myself...

What a wonderful world.

The Washington Note

Shiite-Sunni violence kills 58 in Baghdad - Yahoo! News

Not that anyone's checking, but standing eight will be back upa nd running as normal within one week, now that our main terminal is now once again connected to the wonderful seires of tubes known as the internets.

Shiite-Sunni violence kills 58 in Baghdad - Yahoo! News

The Maddest Lib

Play along at home, America!

Concurring Opinions: Template for News Stories on Government Data Gathering

We begin to suspect that it is a part of the broad Bush PR plan to exhaust our capacity for shock and outrage, rather like a sinister lawyer will, when compelled to discover a particular incriminating document, place it among thousands or hundreds of thousands of other innocuous papers.

Standing Eight has more or less assumed since about 9-12-01 that it operates in an absolutely Orwellian environment, and has acted accordingly. We've said before that the funniest thing is the surprise on Arlen Specter and John Kerry's faces when they bloviate about this stuff.

(NB: bloviate = promise, delay and then table a thorough investigation.
NB2: We proudly note that we spelled 'innocuous' right without spellcheck.)

Big Ben Bruised

We're awfully sorry that this happened: See It Now.

Sorry for Ben and his family most especially, but it is freaking ridiculous that his contract doesn't specifically forbid motorcycling, and ditto skiing and snowboarding. If I were Rooney (or whoever makes the contracts for the Steelers,) I would be furious. This kid is a tens of millions of dollars investment. He shouldn't be allowed to put himself in a situation like that.

And if it is forbidden by the contract, than it's his own stupid fault. Well, let's not say stupid, let's be charitable and say immature.

The Secret War

Remember the taliban? Well they're not exactly as passe as say, Oingo Boingo:

Afghan Violence Kills More Than 500

Calling all congresspersons

How did your congressperson vote on net neutrality?

See It Now.

It's more important than it seems. Take this hypothetical about the coming non-neutral net from Joshie Marshall:

See It Now

Of real interest is that J.J. Sensenbrenner, whom we have long marked as one of the stupidest men in Washington, let alone on the Hill, is on the right side of this one. One of the very few republicans voting aye.

Bush v. Science

Have you heard that the Bush administration is hostile to science? McCain has, and he did a little something about it.

Inconsistent Information Policies Jeopardize Research, Panel Says - New York Times

It's okay George, we all fear what we don't understand. (Although some of us make the attempt to understand, and in so doing lose the fear. But your way's good too.)

We say let's settle it this way: tie GWB up and throw him in a lake, and if he sinks, he's a great president, and if he floats, he's a bad president.

My what a big headline you have!

We doubt that this news deserves the "Man on Moon" or "JFK DEAD" headline fontsize it seems to be getting all over the internets, but it does seem pretty important:

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Iraqi PM confirms Zarqawi death

Yet to be seen: Will it a) stop the insurgency? (350 to 1 against) b) Slow the stalactite trickle of American deaths and injuries? (280 to 1 against) c) improve GWB's ratings? (maybe in the very short term, until "a" and "b" catch up to him. You can take it to the bank, though, that he will be strutting around like he earned the kill himself tomorrow on your newscast of choice.)

Standing Eight doesn't cover foreign affairs much, but we do know that whenever the Cardassians killed a figurehead in the Bajoran "insurgency," a newer angrier deadlier figurehead rose to take his or her place (Bajorans were, of necessity, terrorists, but they are not sexists.) You may laugh, in fact we kind of want you to, but check back in at the end of the summer and see if our actual situation on the ground in Iraq is at all improved. And of course we must remember that it took 50 years and any number of dead zarqawis, but eventually Bajor won.

Westboro Baptist Update

Like a busload of lawyers at the bottom of the sea, let's call this lawsuit "a good start:"

See It Now

We're Number One (repeat.)

In greenhouse gas emissions. Yea!

See It Now

Carbon Dioxide, some call it pollution...we call it life.

Forget it, Jake. It's Ohio.

Just a little unimportant story about Bush taking illegal donations, buried on A10 in the Post, (but there, at least.) If it happened to Clinton it would've eaten up weeks of the news cycle, but that's pre-9-11 thinking.

Fundraiser Admits Illegal Bush Donations

Let's see: Ohio, Bush, GOP Electioneering, and we're not clear on all the details, but we think that even that 'Reagan Dime' is involved in all this somehow. All we know is we're scared, and we're experiencing deja vu. And we're scared.

BBC NEWS

No one but the BBC is talking about this yet, maybe it's an everyday occurence.

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Israel struck by Lebanese rockets

WaPo Doublethink, amateur edition

What Wittgenstein might have had to say about this:

"Traffic experts say so many drivers avoid rush hour this weekend, that it's the perfect time to go."

Head for Beach at Rush Hour? Might Work

O to be a traffic expert, now that spring is here.

Onions that won't make you cry:

See It Now

Insight

Not exactly sure why this: Insight is on top of Huffpo, but check this out, Laura Bush re Gay Marriage:

"People, I have found, over the country don't want the governor of Massachusetts or the mayor of San Francisco to make the choice for them - the courts of Massachusetts, I should say," the first lady told Fox News. "So I think it deserves debate. I think it's something that people want to talk about."

Isn't she wrong both times, though? Wasn't it was the legislature that debated and enacted whatever version it was of gay marriage that they did?

Also, as far as what Laura seems to learn "over the country," just last week we heard that Laura doesn't believe the polls when they show GWB at 30 percent, because the "people she meets" love George.

Maybe she just needs to meet some new people. What are the odds of that happening in the next 2.5 years?

For those wot enjoy a good larf

Headline of the Day - Wonkette

O, Big Brother, Where Art Thou?

In every AT&T office, apparently. You either think this stuff is important or you don't, so no commentary necessary here: Wired News: Whistle-Blower's Evidence, Uncut

Also on point, Sy Hersh in the New Yorker: See It Now

(Although perhaps on the bright side, maybe the energy of Orwell perpetually spinning in his grave could be harnessed to solve our energy problems.)

Wonkette’s Week in Review: No Standing Eight Count - Wonkette

Wonkette never included us in the 'week in review' before, but they also never made fun of us for it in the headline.

Wonkette’s Week in Review: No Standing Eight Count - Wonkette

(That's it, our crush on Ana Marie is officially ove... oh who are we kidding, no one will buy that.)

Is this funny or sad?

From NEWSMAX (so go wash your hands after,) October of last year:

Was Karl Rove Indicted Too?

The lede: " Yes, a big blow to the Bush White House - but not as big as feared for if Karl Rove had been indicted, the Administration would be today teetering on a total meltdown."

Actually that's prescient. Maybe NEWSMAX isn't as vile as I thought.

ROVE INDICTED?!? THIS IS THE BIG ONE!!!

Holy cow! It's Fitzmas in May! He came in in the middle of the night when no one was looking!

But it's from a source that we aren't 100% sure we can trust! We'll know soon enough whether this guy (J. Leopold, Standy winner and potential new Carl Bernstein/new Jayson Blair,) is Fitzy Claus' best little elf or if we're being punk'd. And guess what? This potentially tremendous news does us the honor of being OUR ONE HUNDREDTH POST!! So it's gotta be true, right?

Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators

(Oh, pretty please.)

Spy Game Dame

Must-read from the WaPo.

Fired Officer Believed CIA Lied to Congress

Recently canned CIA bigwig (Inspector General,) Mary McCarthy is, through her "friends," revealing that she thinks, well, that CIA lied to Congress, as the headline indicates. No point putting pull quotes here, it's all equally important if you care, unimportant if you don't.

The important thing to remember is that this is all tied to Goss/Foggo and Hookergate, which in turn is all tied to the White House's paranoid delusion that the CIA is out to get them. (Yet at the same time, it's not hard to see why they might think that.)

And all too creepily reminiscent, at least in our imagination, of

what we know to have been going on in the embittered, embattled Nixon Oval Office.

The Missing Link Missing the Point

File this under D for "Democratic Response comma Poorly Delivered:"

"The state Democratic chairman, Joe Turnham, said the party became aware of some of Darby's views only days ago and was considering what to do about his candidacy.

"Any type of hatred toward groups of people, especially for political gain, is completely unacceptable in the Alabama Democratic Party," said Turnham. See It Now.

Was the "especially for political gain," part really neccessary? Or Appropriate?

The rest of the story is pretty easy to ignore.

Orwellianalysis

Best dissection we've found today of the canonball-splash NSA story (again, it's not really an NSA story, it's a White House story.)

Consortiumnews.com

(Standing Eight is getting very close to it's hundredth post...)

What does a defunct basketball league have to do with anything?

Bush nominee found unfit, but the surprise is that this finding of unfitness came before the confirmation, for once. If only the ABA had been asked to sign off on Mike Brown, or Porter Goss, or Scott McClellan, or Scooter Libby, or let's face it, GWB himself.

Nominee Rated 'Unqualified' By ABA Panel

NB: "But the White House stood by Wallace. 'We disagree with the ABA and reject their rating,' said Bush spokeswoman Erin E. Healy. 'Mike Wallace is a well-respected attorney with extensive experience in constitutional and commercial law.'"

So when the ABA vote is for Roberts, Alito or even Harriet Meiers, then the White House wants to shout it from the hilltops, but if the vote goes against our guy, then the ABA is a worthless lobby of slimy 'trial lawyers,' is that what we are to understand?

What's the strict legal term for that? Hypocrisy? Pandering? Republicanism as usual?

(And why do they call them 'trial' lawyers, isn't that redundant? Is there some set of 'non-trial' lawyers out there that Republicans approve of?)

That's some catch, that catch-22

The no-nonsense lede says it all: "The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency refused to grant Justice Department lawyers the necessary security clearance to probe the matter."

See It Now (via Raw Story)

So, as we predicted in one of our first posts, Chex and Balance are now mere breakfast foods, and no longer a system by which democracies can protect themselves and their citizens. Perhaps we accidentally exported so much democracy that we ran out here at home. Some sort of rationing may be in order. Fear not, you can trust the Bush Administration to oversee such a rationing effort fairly and with your civil liberties well in mind.

We'd say write your congressman to complain, but while you were sleeping congress was done away with and 535 executive-branch androids were installed in their place. So now writing to complain will only get your name put on Santa Bush's naughty list, which of course is maintained by the uninvestigatable NSA. And should you end up on that list a lump of coal will be the least of your worries. Think Gitmo.

We'll ask again: what are they teaching in 8th grade civics classes this year? How do the teachers preach three-branch, checks-and-balances accountability without bursting into tears?

What people who aren't us are thinking

And how for the first time in a long time, more of them agree with us:

The New York Times > Washington > Image > Graphic: Public Perceptions of the President and the Parties

That old noir magic

If any economic analysis can be called "hilarious," then this is the one.

You know how to add, don't you? - Los Angeles Times

Best lines:

1) "That's right," she purred. "I need to know why GDP is up 4.8%, the strongest quarter since 2003, yet real wages are falling." Yeah, I thought, you and everybody else who works for a living.

"Why the interest?" I shot back. She didn't look like a Democrat.

"I wish I could tell you. But I work for some powerful people" — now I knew she wasn't a Democrat — "and they'd be very upset if they even knew I was here."

2) "Why should I?" she said, finally showing her true colors. "Any intervention would just cuff the invisible hand, doing more harm than good." She was Milton Friedman with the body of Scarlett Johansson. I had to get outta there.

Link Sausage

Items of interest from the past 36 hours:

1) Idle speculation about hookergate via Kos (hint: in the absence of the proverbial "dead girl" start looking at/for the ubiquitous "live boys") See It Now

(NB: In general you won't find a lot of hookergate news here, since pointing out Republican hypocrisy at the expense of being hypocritical to ourselves isn't worth it, and we don't find prostitution as morally repugnant as most republicans claim to, just kind of icky. Still it's nice to see them hoisted on a petard of their own moral making.)

2) Although the headline reads "US defends new internet wiretap rules in appeals court," the real story is that the judge literally laughed the US out of court: See It Now. Just one more example of failing to let the headline punishment fit the journalistic crime.

3) One more month where the jobs created fail to keep up with population growth, and yet the White House can't seem to figure out why they get no cred for the booming economy: See It Now. It's the jobless recovery, stupid! The only people feeling Bush's 'economic turnaround' are the investors who already loved him anyway. When Joe Thirty-Six Pack isn't afraid to go look for a job, then you get credit.

4) Miss Molly on the "sleeping giant" (o, "el gigante dormido,") she believes the republicans have awakened. See It Now.

5) GWB goes off script, creates a week's work for his own communications shop: See It Now.

Next Week: "Indict we trust" (?!? Knock wood?)

Alarming News: Workers Getting Paid More

That's Kevin's title over at:

The Washington Monthly

(Check out the David Sirota link at the bottom, too.)

What we're fighting for

Ain't it grand?

UK Gay News - Iraqi Police Execute “Gay” Child in Baghdad

While this story remains unverified in the US press, it has appeared in The Independent, "where more liberal Americans get their news that any native source."

Hungry Hungry Hypo(crisy)

Boy, calling these dweebs on their hypocrisy is still loads of fun, but it's starting to be like shooting fish in a barrel. The prez's firmest answer in years to any question, a solid jigoistic no to the Spanish version of our national anthem, undercut by...his own performance of same at Hispanic campaign stops in 2000.

Think Progress » McClellan Asked About Bush Singing National Anthem In Spanish

If it gets too much easier we might have to thank Bush for making our blogging lives so easy. But then he'll have won our thanks! (He's so devious)

(PS: Someone dared us to use the word 'dweeb' in a post, as part of a larger and dumber conversation about various similar words.)

‘Mission Accomplished’ By The Numbers

Perhaps the sign should have said 'Mission: Impossible.'

‘Mission Accomplished’ By The Numbers

Note that Think Progress cites their sources, by making each category title a link. Lest you think liberals are as brazen as neocons W/R/T pulling numbers out of their asses.

Things that make you go, 'Hmmm.'

Or, more fully: Things that make you go, 'Hmm. Maybe it's time to think about building a bomb shelter in the backyard:

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Iran 'attacks Iraq Kurdish area'

Josh Marshall et al. with more: See It Now (Best quote from Josh: To the president the Democrats should be saying, 'Double or Nothing,' is Not a Foreign Policy.)

Not that GWB needs another reason. No doubt tomorrow he'll be out on the lawn leaning on his little music-stand podium telling us that, 'invading Iraq, or any sovereign country, is just plain wrong. Nations shouldn't invade other nations, so we're keeping all our options on the table, including invasion of Iran.'

It would be hilarious if it were a film David Mamet had written in 29 days. Unfortunately this is real life.

Away team, set your sabers to 'rattle.'

Engage.

--Late Update-- Scuttlebutt about the BBC article on various comment boards is that it's actually the turks who've been bombing the Kurds, and that the Iran story was trumped up by Iraq's new 'American puppet' government to give one more reason for US action against Iran. No way to know for sure, but if the administration does start making alot of noise about this today and tomorrow, the conspiracists might be right.

So it has come to this

It takes a Comedy Central star, a pretend pundit, to speak truth to power, and power doesn't like it.

Colbert Lampoons Bush at Dinner, President Does Not Seem Amused

Bush expects everyone to laugh at his mean spirited jokes to the press, (e.g. He won't hire Dave Gregory, or His cheap shot when introducing Tony Snow to the press corps,) but he sits stone faced, unable to 'take it' when it's Colbert's turn to 'dish it out.' The basest kind of personal hypocrisy, and why should anyone be surprised, really?

Well, we liked it. In fact, we'd have to say Colbert is our favorite right-winger.

--Late Update-- Crooks and Liars, appropriately enough, has made the video available. See It Now

Shoulda Won the Chapionship, Reggie.

By the time anyone wakes up and reads this it won't really be news anymore, but we can now report that Reggie Bush will not be the #1 pick in the NFL draft.

ESPN.com - 2006 NFL Draft Index

Thus ends the only 'excitement' that draft day could have provided.

It's a solid lock, in our lay opinion, that the Texans will regret it next January as they sit at home and watch Reggie in the playoffs. Unless Texans lack the capacity for regret.

Great Grandmas

But isn't war protesting supposed to be the sole domain of stupid hippie kids?

Setting Grandmotherhood Aside, Judge Lets 18 Go in Peace - New York Times

5 Dems with Balls? And one of them a woman?

Damn. We would never have thought that congressional democrats believed in anything enough to get arrested for it. Kudos and the inside track on the '06 Standys go to Lantos, McGovern, Olver (sic?) S.J. Lee and Moran for showing the courage of their arrests, if not convictions, at a protest outside the Sudanese Embassy today.

5 Lawmakers Arrested at Darfur Protest - Yahoo! News

Tuesdays with outrage

We've mentioned in these pages before that it is hard for us to work up the same outrage we used to feel toward the president and the GOP congress, since their outrageous moves are so regular nowadays as to be predictable. We still rarely like anything the president has to say, and almost never anything he actually does, but we've settled into a pattern of low burning ire, and watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann helps us count down the last 1,000 days of the Bush administration while generally keeping our cool.

But just as in basketball, you've gotta watch away from the ball, because that's where the most egregious fouls can happen. Mitch Albom picks up our story from there:

MITCH ALBOM: Hate has no place at a soldier's funeral

Did you read it? If not go and do.

We can't even focus our rage right now enough to comment, so we're going to leave this up and hope it gets a few comments, and then the Standing Eight Standing Army is going to figure out what to do about these idiots. Somehow it's not satisfying to know they'll end up in hell. We need to figure out what to do to make their lives on Earth hell. Please help us with ideas for action. We cannot let these bastards win, and we cannot let them even think that they are winning. Phone Jamming, Calling the IRS on them, Something must be done.

-To be continued, trust us.-

But will it get the mole out of my front yard?

Actually that's probably not the point of this article. Rather, we think the point is that the recent (last 5-7 years,) surge in whale beachings does not indicate that whales are stupid, it rather indicates that we are stupidly, or at least callously interfering in their domain to their detriment, and by 'we,' lest you think we mean the whole human race, we mean the US Navy.

Sonar Called Likely Stranding Cause

(We still love the Navy, mind you, just not as much as we love the planet.)

What if they held a press conference, and nobody came?

Priceless photo of Hastert getting out of the hybrid he rode to a press conference only a few hundred yards from the site, and into a nice big Chevy Earth-Killer, aka Suburban. Perhaps to Denny and his pals, the 'hy' in hybrid stands for 'hy'pocrisy.

See It Now

(Why does 'priceless' mean infinitely valuable, but 'worthless' mean of no value whatsoever? And what would 'costless' mean? And why is it so fun to point out Republican hypocrisy, when it's also so easy?)

Thank God the GOP won't regulate

Sago mine disaster could have been avoided, but it would have required the expenditure of (gasp) money, which would have (gasp) diminished their profit margins.

Mine Survivor Says Air Packs Didn't Work - Yahoo! News

(some fairly graphic detail in this article, but worth the read.)

You're Reporters, We'll Decide

McClellan asked by VadeHai if there is an official White House/AF1 policy that TV's must be tuned to Fox, courtesy of the Atlanta Journal Constitution, by way of HuffPo.

See It Now

Still, it's reassuring to know that the head in the sand attitude is a top down thing, like the disrespecting the troops thing and the ignoring the constitution thing.